Question: I'm considering mediation, but I'm worried that a mediator may be biased towards my spouse. If you do the mediation, will you really hear my side of the story?

(Worries about mediator neutrality are not limited to divorce situations. Whatever the dispute, this is a natural concern.)

Answer: Whoever the mediating parties are - whether a divorcing couple, siblings with an estate conflict or family members dissolving a business - each party to the mediation will have an opportunity to explain his or her individual perspective. It is part of Ms. Wasserman's role as mediator to allow time for this, to listen attentively to each party and to help the parties listen to each other. Ms. Wasserman has extensive training on the subject of neutrality, including gender neutrality, and she knows how essential it is that she not judge the parties or choose sides. She will appreciate the emotional and financial complexities of your situation and will use the mediation process to gain an understanding based on real issues, not surface impressions.

Question: Should the parties to a divorce mediation keep talking between sessions?

Answer: Participants in the divorce mediation process often wonder ... should they keep the discussion of issues going between sessions ... or is it advisable to call a halt to outside discussion? The answer is: it depends. Most often, the parties to the mediation are well-guided by their own instincts in this area. Parties uncertain about the wisdom of outside communication, or the limits to set, will find guidelines evolving as the mediation proceeds, and, in any event, can raise the subject in mediation. If the parties want to communicate constructively between sessions, their mediator will encourage them to go ahead and try. But for divorcing couples with an especially volatile relationship, the mediator may discourage outside discussion of the issues -- between some sessions, at least.